At least some of these are TRUE – not sure what the problem is with ice cream and mustaches, nor why we’re only safe from nuclear detonations in Utah.
Pennsylvania, to no-one’s surprise, has the BEST state laws. Perhaps the mystery of why drivers are so bad in the Keystone State may have finally been solved.
- It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
- Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
- You may not have an ICE CREAM CONE in your back pocket at any time.
- Masks may not be worn in public.
- It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking HORSES.
- MOOSE may not be viewed from an airplane.
- While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a SLEEPING BEAR for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
- It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
- Clowns BEWARE! (Anchorage)
- It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a MOOSE. (Fairbanks)
- Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.
- DONKEYS may not sleep in bathtubs.
- A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up. (Mohave County)
- It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling. (Tombstone)
- It’s strictly prohibited to pronounce “Arkansas” incorrectly.
- ALLIGATORS may not sleep in bathtubs.
- Honking one’s car horn at a SANDWICH SHOP after 9 PM is against the law. (Little Rock)
- Dogs may not BARK after 6 PM. (Little Rock)
- SUNSHINE is guaranteed to the masses.
- It is illegal to shoot at any animal except a WHALE from a moving vehicle.
- Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. (Baldwin Park)
- City Council order reads: “No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.” (Belvedere)
- You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows. (Blythe)
- In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
- It is illegal to walk backwards after sunset. (Devon)
- You aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. (Hartford)
- You may not educate DOGS. (Hartford)
- It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday. (Hartford)
- All computers and smart phones are banned from all Internet cafes.
- The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant PIGS to not be confined in cages.
- DONKEYS may not be kept in bathtubs.
- Signs are required to be written in English.
- No one may carry an ICE CREAM CONE in their back pocket if it is Sunday.
- All residents may be fined as a result of NOT owning a boat.
- It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
- You may not fish on a CAMEL’S back.
- Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
- Residents may not fish from a GIRAFFE’S back. (Boise)
- A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face. (Pocatello)
- The English language is not to be spoken.
- Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
- It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
- It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a GIRAFFE’S NECK.
- The value of pi is 3 (which is mathematically incorrect).
- Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
- MUSTACHES are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
- A man with a mustache may never kiss a woman in public.
- The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes BEFORE attending a fire. (Fort Madison)
- The “Ice Cream Man” and his truck are banned. (Indianola)
- HORSES are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. (Marshalltown)
- If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
- You may not step out of a plane during flight
- To stroll down the street playing a VIOLIN is against the law. (Augusta)
- It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts. (South Berwick)
- It is illegal to remove a public building by writing on it. (Rockville)
- No GORILLA is allowed in the back seat of any car. (Massa)
- Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. (Massa)
- An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. (Massa)
- BULLETS may not be used as currency. (Massa)
- It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath. (Massa)
- A person may not cross state lines with a DUCK atop his head.
- Citizens may not enter WISCONSIN (not Minnesota!) with a CHICKEN on their head.
- All bathtubs MUST have feet.
- Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.
- It is illegal to drive with an uncaged BEAR.
- It is illegal to scare a baby. (Mole)
- It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to ELEPHANTS. (Natchez)
- It is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
- Hard objects may not be thrown by hand. (Excelsior Springs)
- WORRYING SQUIRRELS will not be tolerated. (Excelsior Springs)
- Balls may not be thrown within the city limits. (Excelsior Springs)
- Drivers on mountains should drive with caution near the right hand edge of the highway (there are NO MOUNTAINS in Nebraska!)
- If a child burps during church, his PARENTS may be arrested.
- It is illegal to drive a CAMEL on the highway.
- Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask. (Elko)
- It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
- It is against the law to “frown” at a police officer.
- IDIOTS may not vote.
- A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ICE CREAM CONE in his/her pocket.
- While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
- No SLIPPERS past 10pm.
- It’s against the law to sing off key.
- ELEPHANTS may not be used to plow cotton fields.
- It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
- If one loses their PET TIGER, they must notify the authorities within one hour. (Canton – in response to the incident with the zoo a few years back, I think)
- People who make “UGLY FACES” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
- ICE CREAM may not be eaten on Sundays
- It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator OUTDOORS.
- You may not catch a fish with your hands.
- Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop EVERY MILE, LIGHT UP A ROCKET SIGNAL, WAIT 10 MINUTES FOR THE ROAD TO BE CLEARED OF LIVESTOCK, and continue.
- You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.
- DYNAMITE is not to be used to catch fish.
- You may not sing in the bathtub.
- Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him MUST PULL WELL OFF THE ROAD, COVER HIS CAR WITH A BLANKET OR CANVAS THAT BLENDS WITH THE COUNTRYSIDE, AND LET THE HORSES PASS.
- Any marriage where either of the parties is an IDIOT or LUNATIC is null and void
- Railroad companies may be held liable in some instances for scaring HORSES.
- A permit must be obtained to fire a MISSILE.
- You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the SAME CUSTOMER on a Sunday
- It is considered an offense to get a tattoo.
- It is illegal to display a confederate flag on a courthouse.
- HORSES may not be kept in bathtubs.
- By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the MARRIAGE MUST TAKE PLACE.
- It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a CHEESE FACTORY.
- It is a crime to share your Netflix password in Tennessee.
- You can’t shoot any GAME OTHER THAN WHALES from a moving automobile.
- The entire ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITANNICA is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
- When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
- It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
- It is illegal for one to shoot a BUFFALO from the SECOND story of a hotel.
- It is against the law to fish from HORSEBACK.
- It is illegal NOT to drink milk.
- It is illegal to detonate any NUCLEAR WEAPON.
- BIRDS have the right of way on all highways.
- It is a felony to persistently tread on the cracks between paving stones on the sidewalk of a state highway.
- It is illegal to cause a catastrophe.
- Alcohol may not be sold during an emergency.
- At one time it was illegal to tie a GIRAFFE to a telephone pole
- All residents MUST bathe on Saturday night
It is illegal to tickle women
- It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are dead.
- All LOLLIPOPS are banned.
- Whistling UNDERWATER is prohibited.
- It is illegal to snooze on a train
- It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair.
- State Law made it illegal to serve APPLE PIE in public restaurants WITHOUT CHEESE.